CODEPENDENCY

During my early recovery from sleeping pills addiction, I learnt from a friend who is a recovering codependent that most addicts and family members of addicts are codependents.  Since then, I have read a book on codependency, done some research on it and also have been more observant of myself and others.  Strangely, I discovered that most people including myself do exhibit a certain degree of codependency without realising it.  According to the experts, if we have about 5 to 10% of codependency symptoms, we are still considered normal but a little bit of therapy may make us heal and feel happier.  Beyond that, we can consider ourselves codependent and really need help in order to recover.  Otherwise, it may ultimately lead to self-destruction. 

A healthy relationship is based on interdependence.  It is about forming connections with other people. We give and take.  We set boundaries.  We show our care and concern for others without neglecting our own needs. We are able to let go and have fun.  Whereas in a codependent relationship, it is a one sided relationship.  Codependents usually put aside their own needs in order to meet the needs of another person. They believe that this is what a 'good' spouse, 'good' parent, 'good' children, 'good' friend or 'good' employee/employer ought to do.  This is just not true.  Every situation is different and defining what is and isn't our responsibility can help us make better choices.




Break the chain of codependency

 

Codependency is a dysfunction that causes us to lose ourselves in relationships.  We ignore our feelings, needs and problems while obsessing on the feelings, needs, and problems of others.  We possess an exaggerated sense of responsibility for others, and struggle with maintaining healthy boundaries.  Thus, we experience relationships as stressful, and often suffer from anxiety, depression, guilt and resentment.





Codependents often suffers from feelings of low self-worth or self-esteem but we try to mask our feelings by adopting a care taking role of others, fixing other people's problems, joking/wisecracking/clowning around or pleasing other people so that we appear to have a good image on the outside.  These actions are actually giving us a sense of importance, relieving loneliness, and/or avoiding working on our own issues and needs. It has been said that "When a codependent dies, someone else's life flashes before their eyes!". 

Here are some examples of codependency behaviours which we can find even among family members or  friends:-

1.  Mothers or wives of addicts who can't stop giving money to the addicts to buy their supply because

     they felt  pity for the addicts and blamed themselves for the addicts' problems.  They do not realise that  
     they are not helping but are enabling the addicts instead.

2.  Men or women who spends a great deal of their lives taking care of their aged and sick parent  
     without having a life of their own and neglecting their own needs.  When the parent dies, they feel lost
     and have no sense of purpose anymore.  They are unable to cope with the break of the routine and
     structure. 

3.  Wives who manipulate their control on their husbands and children by attending to all their needs so
     much so that the entire family becomes totally dependent on them.  So without them, the whole family will

     crumble.

4.  Women who are unable to let go of abusive relationships because they fear being alone without anyone
      to take care of.

If you are wondering whether you are codependent, see whether you can relate to the following list of most common symptoms of codependency:-

• Putting other people's needs before our own.
• Feeling responsible for other people's behaviours and feelings.
• Having low self-esteem but feel good when having done something for others.
• Having problem saying 'No' to other people because of the tendency towards people-pleasing.
• Afraid of being rejected by others or hurting other people's feelings.
• Feels resentment towards people who wont let us help them.
• Needs to be 'needed' to have relationship with people.
• Enables the person with the problem to keep going down the wrong path and denies to the person that he/she has a problem.
• Withdraws from others and acts like we don't care what others have to say.
• Doesn't realise that we have a problem and thinks that we are helping the troubled person when we are really not.
• Try to control events and people through manipulation.
• Unable to let go even in an abusive relationship.
• Unable to express feelings and afraid of intimacy

In the later stages of codependency, codependents may feel lethargic or depressed, become withdrawn and isolated, seek alternatives to living by pursuing other 'escape' activities, experience a complete loss of daily routine and structure or begin to have suicidal thoughts.  Examples of 'escape' activities are when people generally feel unhappy, bored or anxious unless they are playing video games, gambling, using drugs or alcohol, shopping, eating, pursuing a relationship, looking for sexual gratification, 'fixing' other people's lives and problems and even escaping into religion and 'converting' others to their beliefs.  Looking at the reality of the way we live our lives can help us determine if our lives are beginning to be unmanageble due to codependence.

Just like addiction, codependency is a disease as there is no cure for it.  So is recovery possible?  Absolutely.  Here are some of the steps for treatment and prevention:-

• Admit that we have a problem.
• Understand that we did not cause the other person's problems.  We can't control the other person and we can't cure or save the person.
• Do not make excuse for ourself or others for the person.  Accept that the person has a real problem and needs help.
• Join a support group for codependents such as Al-Anon or Codependent Anonymous (CODA).  It is a spiritual (not religious) program and can work even if you are an atheist.  You will not be persuaded to give up your religious/spiritual or atheistic beliefs.  It is merely a method by which you learn to change your codependent behavior.
• Try as hard as we can to stop being a codependent for this person.  The more we refrain, the closer we will be to helping our self and the other.  Your group support and Higher Power can help you with this.
• Seek therapy as codependency may be rooted in childhood.  Therapy can also help to identify the underlying cause of codependency.
• Be responsible for ourself and others in the family to live a better life and make sure that we are healthy and happy.
• Spend time on more productive and meaningful things for ourself as well as the community.

Recovery requires conscious effort to change.  We need to be honest with ourselves.  We need the help and experience of others who are in recovery.  We need a good and relevant therapist to help us see the light.  We need to accept our powerlessness over people and events. We need friends who are open and honest with us and we need to be open to their feedback. Very often, a part of being codependent is a resistance to being able to have fun and play.  So as part of recovery, we need to learn how to let go and have fun. Ultimately, we must have the courage to change.  We all deserve to find peace and happiness.


"Recovery is learning to function in relationships." -- Melody Beattie

There is a free local support group called Co-dependent Anonymous (CODA) Malaysia.  For more information, please call Renu at 012-6839544 or check out their website at  http://codamalaysia.wordpress.com

STRYKER HIP REPLACEMENT COMPLICATIONS

Here's another interesting post contributed by Drugwatch.

Stryker Hip Replacement Complications

Around 450,000 hip replacement surgeries are done every year, giving people relief from pain and allowing them to once again participate in everyday activities.

Stryker Orthopaedics is one of the leading manufacturers of hip implants, which are often required as a result of osteoarthritis, arthritis, trauma, obesity, bone death or other hip conditions.

Two of Stryker's popular hip implants, the Rejuvenate and the ABG II, were designed to be long-lasting and provide a custom fit for patients. Unfortunately, many patients instead required painful and expensive revision surgeries to replace the implants.

Stryker’s implants can lead to complications like metal poisoning, bone tissue death and chronic pain. In July 2012, the manufacturer recalled the two hip implants.

Serious Complications

The unique design of Stryker's Rejuvenate and ABG II gives surgeons freedom to customize implants for individual patients using several neck and stem components. The neck components are made of chromium and cobalt, and the stems are coated with titanium. The necks and stems meet at a metal-on-metal junction, which can release metallic debris into the body during normal movement.

Metallic debris can affect the tissue around the implant, turning it a grey color as the tissue becomes oxygen-starved and begins to die. If patients have metal sensitivity, this can be particularly dangerous, leading to metal poisoning. Metal ions in the blood can also cause emotional imbalance, severe headaches, and cognitive and nervous system problems.

Other complications resulting from metal debris can include:

·         Formation of cysts or pseudotumors

·         Implant failure

·         Implant loosening

·         Deterioration of bone around the implant

·         Osteolysis (bone lost around implant that leads to inflammation)

·         Severe joint pain

When patients experience these or other complications from implants, they may need revision surgery to remove the defective implants.

Safety Alert and Recall

More than 20,000 people received the Rejuvenate or ABG II before Stryker issued a warning about the implants in April 2012. A few months later, Stryker recalled the two hip systems.

The April warning, classified as an "Urgent Safety Alert," stated that the implants were associated with "fretting and/or corrosion at or about the modular neck junction," that can "lead to increased metal ion generation in the surrounding joint space." It was sent to hospital risk managers and surgeons.

Meanwhile, dozens of implant recipients had reported adverse events, like metal toxicity, to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

Finally, on July 6, 2012, Stryker recalled the Rejuvenate and ABG II, and stopped global production and marketing of the implants. Stryker says that patients who have received these devices and are suffering from side effects should seek medical attention. Medical professionals can provide evaluations using X-rays, MRIs and blood tests to determine if metal ion levels are too high.

There are more than 50 Stryker lawsuits pending in New Jersey state court, and hundreds more claimants are expected to step forward in the coming months.

Alanna Ritchie is a content writer for Drugwatch.com, specializing in news about prescription drugs, medical devices and consumer safety. Feel free to follow us on Twitter.